Moving to a New Website!

 
Hi Everyone!

Thanks for following my journey here for however long you've been with me. It's been one interesting journey from leaving my job in Chicago to move to New York, then to start a new career path by going to Parsons to study fashion design, and then having a baby! Since I started this blog, I have lived in 4 different apartments, received 2 more degrees (one if fashion design, one in integrative nutrition), moved into 2 different studios (not including the other 3 in my previous 3 apartments), and bought a dog, Those are the things that happened on the outside. There have also been dramatic changes on the inside as well. I really appreciate you sticking with me to follow my story here.

The time has come to make a move! This time, it's not a physical move, but an electronic move! I merged my blogs into one website and will be blogging there from now on.

Find me here: www.flowliving.com
Twitter: @flowliving
Facebook: flow living page

This is where I will really set my dream in motion and create a company in the process. I am excited about this new adventure and know that something amazing awaits me at the other end. It's not entirely clear where it will lead, but I am following my soul's guidance and taking it step by step, day by day. One thing I know is that I'm moving in the right direction and I feel like I have found a bigger purpose and dream to move towards. My vision for this new website is to do some spiritual travel with my family (one of my dreams) and eventually create a sustainable fashion line. My goal is also to guide others to follow their dreams and travel around the world. What an amazing life that would be!

Join me on the new website and subscribe to my mailing list (see right column here) so you will be notified of any new products that come out! I'd also love to hear from you to see what you are dreaming about! You can get in touch with me by commenting, emailing, or on facebook or twitter. Read my first post on the new site here.

Wishing you all a wonderful journey!

Moving Studios Again!

This year has been the year of moving, that's for sure! We moved to a new home and we moved all of my design related supplies and equipment out of the home and into a shared studio space. Well, just when I was starting to get settled, it was time for another move! After trying to make it into my shared studio space while trying to juggle taking care of a baby, I realized I wasn't making it in because of the baby.

It was nice to have a studio so that all my stuff was out of our home. I definitely found the studio at the right time, just after our move, so that we could rearrange the second bedroom into a baby's room. It was now about figuring out a way to take care of the baby and get some work done! This is a struggle for any stay at home mom or work at home mom. Last month, I decided I needed a private studio space so that I could bring my baby in from time to time and not feel like I'm bothering anyone. Breastfeeding and pumping also required privacy, so I know it was the right choice for me at this time.

After going back and forth about where to relocate to a new studio - the options were in nice commercial neighborhood two train stops away, or in the same neighborhood which was a short 10 minute walk. After looking at potential spaces in each of those locations, I decided that it would be easiest to be close by until my baby was a little older. I also decided that the best space for me to rent was in the same building, but in a private space, just slightly larger than my current space, but one that had plenty of light and a great view. Getting a great view seemed like an impossible request because the commercial building is in the middle of a very industrial street! I set the intention anyway!

The next day, after I set the intention, I called up the building's management company. I had already checked craigslist a thousand times and didn't find any good vacancies in the building or anywhere nearby. I knew that the management company sometimes had openings that weren't listed because I had viewed spaces with a broker a year ago and he showed me several spaces that weren't listed. It turned out that they had 3 spaces available. One sounded like it would work out. I just had to go see the space and make sure it was big enough and felt right.

Three days later, I went to go see the space. It was a lot smaller than what was advertised! Only 60% of the size! But, other than that, it worked. It was bright, and it had a really nice view of some nice residential buildings. And I didn't see the industrial neighborhood because it was on the 3rd floor and overlooked the other buildings in the neighborhood. How nice! It turns out that the space is slightly larger than my previous space and a little more in rent. All in all, it was within what I wanted to spend. Talk about a nice manifestation!

I officially moved into my studio last month in November. I found movers to help move my cutting table and all my equipment. My husband and I have also made some trips to Ikea to get some additional storage, found some items on craigslist, Amazon, and eBay, and my studio is now starting to come together nicely. A few more weekends of work and everything should be set. Just some shelves to install, painting to do, rearranging, and cleaning. Then I will finally be able to start making something!

It's been a year since I've made something, and I have been itching to have a workspace set up again to make something. Ultimately I want to start a business, but before I can do that, I just need to get into the studio and let myself go! After taking care of a baby full-time, you don't know how excited I am to just even make a pillow cover! Anything simple that can be done in a few hours so that I will have some instant gratification! It will happen soon... as soon as we find a suitable day care for my little Sophie! She is ready to socialize with other babies. :)

Here's a picture of Sophie in my previous studio. She wanted out of the crib the moment I put her in!

How I Was Able to Get Lots and Lots of Fabric!

This is a bit serendipitous, that's for sure. Today I bought lots and lots of fabric at a steep discount! Here's a picture of my car with fabric piled up. There are more bolts underneath the bolts you see here... so exciting!

You see, I have my studio, but only a few yards of different types of fabric that I purchased to experiment with. At first I was thinking of creating a women's line, but I recently decided to start by making baby clothes first because I need to dress my baby before she turns into a toddler! I can't believe they call babies toddlers after they reach 1 year. My baby is growing up so fast! My goal is to try to make her a few outfits before she reaches 12 months of age. Not that she would actually change much in size from 11 months to 12 months, but there's something about dressing a "baby" versus a "toddler" that makes it seems so cute! Toddlers are cute too, of course, just not as little!

Today was my lucky day! I saw an email in my inbox with a newsletter from the Textile Arts Center. I randomly pick different newsletters to read on any given day or week because honestly there are just too many that come into my inbox to read! For some reason, I decided to read that one that day, and all the way at the bottom of the newsletter was a message that said that they were selling excess cotton fabric they had. Hmmm... intrigued, I emailed them.

They were getting rid of excess stock and today I met them at their storage facility that they were emptying out. Woohoo! And I scored lots of fabric! It turned out that they had tons of fabric because a company that was designing baby clothing went out of business. So, this fabric was intended for baby fabric. Perfect! The fabric is probably not organic, which would be my first choice, but at least I can start here and feel free to experiment since the fabric isn't so expensive!

Last month, my friend, who is moving out of the country, gave me a huge bolt of muslin, pattern paper and some other supplies. That was so nice of her! I'm starting to get all the materials I need to start designing. Once I get a baby dress form, I think I'm ready to start playing with fabric! Those mini dress forms are so cute! I just can't take it. Technically I probably don't need a baby dress form unless I'm doing something very drapey, but I love working on dress forms rather than flat patterns, so perhaps a cute itty bitty dress form will inspire me to get my butt into the studio and stop using lack of money for a nanny or schedule limitations due to my pumping schedule as excuses to not even start. Clearly the universe wants me to start if I'm being blessed with a studio, supplies, and fabric! And obviously it's something I want to do too!

This fabric is making me so excited. Hahaha... so many itty bitty baby things can come out of this. You can see the fabric is mainly boy colors because the company was making baby boy clothing. My original intent was to make only baby girl clothing since I have a baby girl, but why not make a few cute boy things for my sister? Can you tell what the color palette will be from that picture? :) Quite obvious, huh?

Hopefully I'll be able to make something for my cute little Sophie soon! :)

Here's a picture of Sophie in a little sweater I knitted even before I was planning on having a baby. It just happened to turn out that I ended up having a baby girl who can wear it! She is such a doll!

Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom?

This is the big question that all new mothers face. Should I go back to work or stay home and raise the baby? For some women, the answer is very simple. They love their job and want to go back to work as soon as their maternity leave is up. This is the rare breed of women who have already found what they love to do in life. For the rest of us, the answer is much more complicated.

Most women I know make a choice based on their finances. Some say they have to go back to work because they need their income to help support the family. Then there are others who think it's better to stay at home because all the money they earn is going towards a nanny/daycare/care giver anyway. They would rather stay at home than give up most of their pay check so that someone else can raise their baby.

The women who work full-time feel guilty that they can't be at home with their baby more. The women who stay at home start to feel like their brain is turning into mush and they crave non-baby related activities and adult interaction. And then there are those who have made it work by staying home part-time and working part-time. And still others who have somehow been able to work from home. What is the ideal balance? Is it even achievable?

I have always known that I wanted to raise my children and have a career too. Don't we all? But, I didn't want to just have any career. I wanted one that fulfills my desire to contribute to this world in a meaningful way. The bottom line is that I didn't get this far in my journey of searching for my dream job to end up settling for a job that I'm only working in for money. I left that all in the past. I learned many lessons on how chasing money is NOT going to make me happy, no matter how much I am making.

Here I am, just like any other new mom, trying to figure out the right balance of work and being at home. But, unlike other moms that are in corporate jobs or at home without any options, my goal has always been to create my own business. And by business, I don't mean a franchise or a saleswoman for a multi-level marketing company. I mean a business that I can start from scratch--one that uses all of my skills and talents that I've gained along the way. Most importantly, it has to be a business that fuels my passion and helps me fulfill my life purpose.

Life purpose? But, what is my life purpose? Wouldn't it be easier if we just knew what our life purpose was? But, that's not how it works. We have to go through life, living experiences, positive and negative, learning lessons, growing, evolving, and noticing what truly makes us light up. Things that energize us are clues to what our purpose is. The painful and challenging experiences in our lives are also clues that point to our path. What painful experience have you overcome that you can now use to serve others? Our life purpose is about service, after all. Impacting the lives of others in a positive way. Dig deep. Reflect. It's there and it will come out when it's ready.

I'm beginning to find my path. For so much of my life I have wanted to do so many different things. That's not the way to build a business. It's about focus. So, I am focusing my life now. I am bringing in all the aspects of myself and merging it into one. I am bringing in my different websites and consolidating it into one brand. One me. It is from that launchpad that I will grow my business.

My answer to the question of a working mom versus a stay at home mom is some combination of both. I tried the whole work-at-home mom thing. I don't know how moms do it. So little gets done. When the baby naps, I need to do dishes, laundry, and prepare some food for myself to eat. Or it's time to shower, clean up the house, or check my email. Unless I can outsource all of those things, I don't know how I'll have any time to work on my business. I knew things would just be put on hold indefinitely.


So, I decided to experiment with a combination of staying at home and working outside the home. This was not an easy decision because we are trying to make it work as a single income family and I felt guilty hiring a nanny when I'm not bringing in income to pay for it. But, I need some time and space to think and come up with a plan.

As the saying goes, you can't make money without spending money, so this is one area I decided to invest some money in. I have a nanny on an as-needed basis. I am trying to determine what the ideal schedule for me is in order to make the most of my free time. As much as I am feeling the pressure of the nanny payments, I am doing my best to focus instead on what it is I'm going to create. What kind of business will it be? What services and products will I provide? And what is my first step?


I decided to hire a business coach to help me through this process because I was obviously getting a bit stuck. I needed someone to help me get clear. Lucky me, I found the perfect coach! I found several people along the way who have also helped me define my business a bit more, but my business coach is showing me a way that has worked for her and her clients. So, during the next few months I'm going to be making some big changes to this website and will be working on coming out with some new products, all based how I wish to serve in this world.


I share my journey with you here to inspire you on your journey to finding your ideal career, your purpose, and a work/life balance that works for your family and lifestyle. This is my journey and I will share what works for me. Right now I am experimenting with hiring my nanny for 6 hours 2x/week. Although some of that time is spent towards pumping milk and getting organized, I'm hoping most of it can be spent coming up with a clear plan for what I want to accomplish for the months ahead.


I am choosing to create a life I love...one step at a time.

A Lesson About Lack

Today I learned a very important lesson that I wanted to share. I've come to learn that the things that happen in our lives are there to reflect who we are inside and our inner thoughts and belief systems. What I mean by this is things that happen to us are because life is drawing our attention to our own beliefs, whether we are consciously aware of them or not. If we hold a deep seated belief of lack and always worry about not having enough money for expenses, or enough time to finish all of our to do items, or whatever you are concerned that there isn't enough of in your life, our lives will mirror that belief. Let me make this a bit clearer by sharing my example.

Going through this lovely life phase of mine called motherhood, especially during the infant year, I have come to worry about my milk supply. Will I have enough to feed my baby? I have heard of so many stories of moms who have dried up before the first year. I was determined to not let this happen, and also to have enough so that if I hired a nanny, I could easily maintain a frozen supply.

For a period of time, I went through an intense couple of months of trying to improve my supply so that I could hire a nanny part-time in order gain some of my freedom back. I needed time to go run errands, take a yoga class, work on starting my business, unpack after the move, organize my house, go to an appointment, etc. Basically, for a couple of months, all I did was sit at home (if I didn't have to go to work at my part-time job I had at the time) and nurse and pump. Unfortunately, at that time my supply had diminished because my baby temporarily stopped feeding at night (she's back to feeding at night now), and our every-so-intelligent bodies readjust the amount of milk it produces based on demand. I was dedicated to a constant pump schedule in order to build a frozen supply of milk.

Anyway, that's probably too much information for you, but if you're still reading and are interested, I put a lot of work into this! It was not easy, and it required a LOT of time sacrificed to this effort. The goal was reached and I managed to build up enough frozen store that I did not have to worry. Even still, this sense of "lack" lingered in my mind. I treat frozen milk like it's more precious than gold. You cannot buy it no matter how much money you have! Or maybe you can, but it's not easy to come by. The fact that my baby absolutely HATES formula also compounded the pressure on me to have enough to last at least for the first 12 months of her life.

I've been working on removing all thoughts of lack and poverty consciousness from my life. It takes effort, but in order to live an abundant and wealthy life, we need to let go of these old thought patterns and replace them with new ones. I am constantly telling myself that we have enough, more than we need. Somehow it always works out and I'm able to do the things I want once I make the decision to do it.

So, today, after I pumped some milk and brought it to the kitchen to freeze, my nanny had thawed a frozen one to feed my baby. I was thinking that I should have brought the milk out sooner so that she didn't have to thaw one since I had one ready. See, these feelings of lack of enough milk storage started to creep up. And of course, as I was worrying about how much frozen milk supply was used versus how much I was able to produce today, she accidentally dropped an unsealed bag onto the floor and half it spilled out. I caught half of it, but she felt terrible that this happened. I wasn't upset because it had already happened to me before and I knew how that felt. But, why did it happen twice? I had spilled half the milk from a thawed bag into the kitchen sink once while holding the baby.

Then, it dawned on me why... At that moment, I was trying to calculate how much milk went in versus went out, which is an act that demonstrates a sense of lack. And of course, at that exact moment that I was feeling lack, what did the universe deliver to me? More lack! And it did so by wasting such precious milk. It was a repeat of the same thought pattern I had the first time I spilled the milk.

Well, there's my aha! moment. When you think thoughts of lack, the universe delivers lack. When you think thoughts of abundance and display emotions that show gratitude for what you have, the universe delivers more abundance. So, the next time you think you don't have enough time... act like you have enough time to do whatever you wish to do and give yourself the time and space to do it! And if it's money, don't worry about the lack of money, instead focus on what you can do to build more inflow. I'll talk about how I'm doing this in another post. In the meantime, shift your focus! Focus on what you DO have, instead of what you don't and you'll be on your path to abundance. :)

Baby Clothing Swap

This past weekend, we went to a baby clothing swap. What a great idea! Rather than being held at someone's home, which can sometimes be a bit awkward, this event was held at a place where we take baby music classes. You bring a bag of clothes, donate $10, and take home a bag of clothes! There were tons of clothes for 0-6 months old. Those were the sizes we donated too. The older sizes definitely had a lot less quantity, but we were able to find some things and also walk away with the cutest red coat with the tag still on! Can't wait to use that one!

What a great idea to declutter some of the old clothes and get something back in return. Usually we just throw everything into a donation pile or send a message out to the neighborhood's parents' groups on Yahoo. Someone will come and pick the stuff up, especially if there's a bunch of free things. It saves a trip to Goodwill. We were able to give away things that were just taking up space in our home and sell some things that we were no longer using. Things are starting to get organized around here. :)

My New Studio!

I have been wanting to have a studio outside of my home since last year, a place to dedicate just to my work. I was pregnant at the time and knew I wouldn't be able to get into it much once the baby arrived, so I kept the idea as a future goal. This year, after our move into our new place, I realized I needed some time and space outside of the home to be able to go to experiment and work on my projects. There was a commercial building near our home (a 10 minute walk) that had some nice spaces, but were too expensive for my needs. I had a baby now, and I needed to factor in the cost of that too!

One weekend, shortly after our move, I was inspired to search for commercial spaces in the building I had looked at. It was after a particularly long day of being a mommy with no break because my baby wouldn't go down for a nap that day. I needed a place to go outside the home after being cooped up in the house all the time with no outlet. I did a quick search on craigslist. To my surprise, I found a studio share! I hadn't thought about that before. Sharing a space, reducing the rent to half the price! Suddenly it all seemed attainable. A stretch financially, but still a possibility. Somehow maybe we could make it work.

We visited the place and it was perfect for what I needed. I could get my desk in there, a cutting table, industrial sewing machine, fashion books, garment racks and some other machines I purchased. I even put in a small travel crib in there, thinking that I would be able to take my baby in once in a while. I applied for the space and got it! Luckily we hadn't organized our home yet after the move, so we quickly changed our plans and made the second bedroom the baby's room instead of my studio.

Here is a picture of my studio before I moved in. My space is the space behind the tape line.

Here is a picture of my studio all equipped and ready for me to go in and do some work!

Now, the problem was, how can I work in the studio when I have to take care of the baby? We had to find a nanny and pay for that too. For a single income family, this was quite a stretch for us. It was an investment for my sanity and eventually some designs would come out of using this studio space. We hired the nanny part-time, but I quickly found my time with the nanny being spent on pumping milk for my baby and cleaning up our home. We just moved after all! I'm sure a lot of creative entrepreneurial moms face this problem...how to create a business while being a mom. I'm still trying to work it out!

Now that my baby is getting bigger, I am realizing that it's impossible to take her to work with me. She needs my attention almost all the time and I won't be able to work with her there. I tried last week and managed to get a whole whopping 10 minutes of work done. Plus, the pressure of trying to time everything perfectly to constantly work around her naps has been another challenge, especially with her inconsistent nap schedule. That's another big issue I've been trying to work through.

I'm using my nanny now on just an as-needed basis due to our financial situation, but I'm still wrestling with how I can justify having a nanny to watch my baby so that I can use the studio for 2-3 increments at a time (around a pumping schedule) when I am not making money that is needed to pay for the studio and the nanny? I need income to pay for the studio and nanny, but without the studio and nanny, I don't have time to figure out some money generating opportunities! I'm going to have to come up with some creative solutions here soon so that my studio can get some use! Anyone solved this problem yet?

I'm hoping all will be solved soon. I have some ideas. Still a little foggy, but I know I'm on the verge of launching a new business with the help of a business coach. I'm still in the process of defining what it will be and am trying to align it with my life's purpose. I'm having to dig deep... really, really deep for this one to figure out what it is that I will do and who I wish to serve. I know the answer is probably right in front of me, but you know it's always hardest to notice the things that are right in front of you.

This blog post has been a long time coming. It's been in draft mode for 3 months because I've been trying to find time to download the pictures in order to post pictures of my new studio. Yes, that means my studio has not be unused for the past 3 months. Oy. Juggling time as a mom has been one of my biggest challenges yet. I have a deep respect for moms who are able to take care of their babies and launch a business at the same time! It takes some serious commitment, patience, and lots and lots of work! I'm not giving up yet. I'm determined to somehow create a living doing what I love!

Showing Up

Achieving our goals a lot of times depends on if we decide whether to show up or not. If your goal is to get fit, do you show up at the gym or a class when you say you will? I've been guilty of this one. I've scheduled "gym time" for myself at 6:30 in the morning on my calendar, but I have not showed up yet. The intention was there, but the follow-through was not. Instead of beating myself up about not making it to the gym and feeling guilty, maybe it's time to re-evaluate if this is the right path for me right now. How much of a priority is this among the giant list of other things I'm trying to get done? It's important, for sure, so maybe it's about setting more realistic expectations. Instead of trying to go in every day, maybe I'll start with one day a week for 20-30 minutes. This way, I'm more likely to show up that one time and then I can build up from there.

Aside from exercise, I am also talking about the opportunities that come into our lives. Sometimes it's work related... For example, there was a free conference that I had the opportunity to attend as an alumni of Integrative Nutrition. I debated for some time whether to go or not, not because I didn't want to, but because I would have to figure out a way to pump milk either while I was there or just go for a short duration. I wasn't sure if it would be worth the effort. Trusting that this event came into my life at the right time for a purpose, I ended up going for the morning sessions. I dutifully made sure I pumped right before I left, but obstacles came up that made my journey into the city more difficult. The train was under construction, so I had to take the bus. One more thing to figure out that would also cut down on my time in between pumping sessions. I trusted that what I needed to hear at the conference would be while I was there, so I went.

I wasn't sure how much I would get out of the conference, but boy was I happy I went! I heard the right messages that I needed to hear, I met a person that I could keep in touch with, heard an amazing talk by Deepak Chopra, and was inspired by my fellow alumni with all they are doing in their lives. The energy was palpable and I knew it was a good thing I came. Somehow, this event was going to propel me forward in my journey towards creating my own career.

The other opportunities that come into our lives can disguise themselves as being social in nature. I was invited to go meet a friend for drinks. It coincided with my baby's bedtime and since I was the only one that could put her to bed, I was reluctant to go. Instead of giving up, however, I decided to try and see if there was a way that my husband could put the baby to bed. For the next few days after the invite, I either nursed her and then he rocked her to sleep, or he tried giving her a bottle to see if he could put her down by himself. After a few days, it worked! And although she woke up sometimes as frequently as every hour after she went to sleep, he was able to rock her back to sleep! This freed me up and I was able to go out (minding my pumping schedule of course), and I was so glad that I did. I met new people and had conversations with my friend and others that really gave me new ideas, taught me some new things, inspired me, and supported me. It was what I needed at that time to get me back into the fashion scene and mingle with old classmates so that I wasn't in a mom world bubble.

What usually happens if you show up, is that one thing leads to another. I showed up, had some interesting conversations, someone needed some help looking for a job, so I offered to reach out to a contact I had to see if there were any openings. Although I initially did this to help someone else, this email I sent out ended up helping me more than anyone else! Through the friendly conversation, I was given some pretty good advice that I really needed to hear to help steer me and give me confidence to start making my own clothes. It planted a seed.

But, that wasn't the only thing that came out of that night. My friend invited me to a session she was having with her old professor to learn some patternmaking techniques and invited me along. I could have just stayed at home, but instead, I decided to hire a nanny for that day and make it there. It was rare opportunity for me to meet a teacher that I hadn't met while I was at school and to learn (or re-fresh my memory) of something that was good for me to know. I knew the skill would also come in handy. The private session was not just about patternmaking, but there were discussions about how to work while being a mom, about how the fashion industry, and other conversations that gave me some good insight. Then this session led to a follow-up session and now the door is open for me to reach out to this professor for help with any patternmaking questions I have.

But there were other things I was able to get out of these sessions too... some recommendations for some amazing videos to watch and a book to buy that would help me experiment with different techniques. Also, a recommendation on a bookstore to visit. So, there was my next step... visit that bookstore to look for that book. I then showed up at the bookstore 2 days later (I wrapped it around the second session and hired the nanny for a half day too), and started browsing the shelves. I intended to buy that book (which happened to be out of stock there), but ended up finding some incredible Japanese magazines that I could use as inspiration, and Eco-Fashion book that was exactly what I was looking for and would save me a ton of research time, and I also picked up a random innovative origami book that really called out to me for some reason. And of course I couldn't help myself but to enjoy some decaf coffee and try a Japanese pastry.

And then, that's not the end of the story. It keeps going on and on. Each thing leads to the next. I read something in my email that triggers another action and some more learning, and I see something that sparks another idea, and I watch something on TV that gives me some more insight, and on and on it goes. Each of these tiny steps leads you step by step to the bigger picture and to your ultimate goal if you decide to just show up. Things just unfold. Step by step, if you're paying attention. Trust that you are at the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. It may not all make sense right now, but it does come together. I'm starting to see everything come together and it's pretty amazing. Everything that seemed so unrelated is not converging into something that is really an amazing overall concept. And I'm finally beginning to see clearly through the fog. What lies ahead is a magical adventure in which we are guided to the next step, and all we need to decide and do is to show up.

Enjoy the Ride

I've been dormant for a while, and after reading this, I finally understand why. New energies are affecting our lives every day. Today was one of those days, and I felt that it was now time to start up my blogging again. A lot has happened during the past 16 months of my life being pregnant and giving birth. Now that my darling Sophie is 7 months old, I'm beginning to wonder what my future holds. I plan on staying close to my her until I am done breastfeeding, but until then, I am beginning to wonder what I can start now to get things rolling.

Being a new mom is one of those roller coaster rides that you don't think will ever stop. As one big wave ends, another one arises, different, but just as challenging as the one before. It's fulfilling, heart-warming, but at the same time extremely challenging. And it's nothing like I expected. I'm riding the waves and learning to let go of my long held ambitions for getting things done quickly and all at once. I am learning that there is a time and place for everything, and right now it is about being a mom and being the best mom I can be. The future is coming more quickly than I realize, and my baby will only be this small once, so it is time to enjoy the ride.

Learning to enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination is one of the key lessons I've been learning lately. Everything from the process of decluttering my apartment, setting up my new home, learning to put my baby down for naps or bed at night... even the most difficult journeys will be one that we will looked back on fondly one day. The most difficult journeys are the ones that create the most meaningful transformations in our lives. It is through this process of struggle, contrast, and death of the old that we can fully shed our old ways and give birth to a whole new life. This process is magical and wonderful. Every step, perfectly calculated, orchestrated, and delivered. That is how our lives unfold. The more we resist, the more contrast is delivered. Learn to let go. The old no longer serves you. Let go so that the new can arrive.

I'm learning to let go of all sorts of objects in my home. Anything I am not using is going out the door. There is no space in my life for things I no longer love anymore. Even objects that hold monetary value are going out the door. I am selling, giving, donating everything I no longer need or want. I am also learning to let go of a lot of emotional clutter. Things creep up from the past that I had no idea was still around. I'm facing it, dealing with it, and then sending it on its merry way. Again and again this process continues and will continue until all of the clutter is gone. It's a wonderful process of releasing. Every release brings new opportunities. Miracles begin to unfold and everything becomes effortless and easy.

Instead of wishing everything were complete, I am now accepting things as they are. My home that is a work in progress, my weight loss from my pregnancy, my career and business waiting to be birthed. I am loving my life as it is right now, in this moment, clutter, fat, piles of to do's and all. Everything. And then something amazing happens. From that acceptance comes a moment of clarity. New ideas start to flow and old ideas begin to clarify themselves. Everything starts to fall into place. The universe is an amazing place, and only God can create such an amazing world. We are all co-creators in this universe, working with and through God. If you have not experienced this type of transformation yet, begin the process. Accept things as they are, right in this moment. Be grateful for the things you love in your life. This list of things you love will only grow as you live your life from a state of love.

Be well co-creators. Help is always available, just with the asking. Ask and ye shall receive.

Namaste. Amen.

Starting Fresh!

It's the beginning of a new chapter in my life. We moved! A new apartment is always a new chapter for me. It's fresh start with a new environment that infuses my life with new energy. We even had the coolest moving trucks move us! Take a look!

The front of the trucks:

 

The back of the trucks:

These trucks were real works of art! I was impressed. These are the coolest moving trucks I've ever seen. I decided that along with my new move, I would start blogging more again. I had considered discontinuing further blog entries because my life is now busy with a baby and all, but recently I've received some emails from some readers that have told me how they had been inspired by my story and are on similar paths and wanted me to continue. For them and all of you out there that are following my blog and benefiting from hearing my story, I dedicate my blogs to all of you and will continue to share my story with the hope that it helps you with yours!

Oh how my life has changed now that I have a baby. The first month was really about recovery from the delivery and just trying to orient myself to a new life with a baby. The first three months was just really about survival. I knew there would be sleepless nights, but I had no idea just how extreme it would be! My baby had day/night confusion, so my bedtime was sometimes 5, 6, 7, or even 8am! Boy was I exhausted. I had to sleep during the day when the baby slept and stay awake all night constantly feeding and feeding and feeding and feeding. Now that she's sleeping much better and her schedule has improved from sleeping at 5am to 4am, then 2am, 1am, midnight, 10pm, and recently sometimes 8pm, I am feeling much better and starting to feel more like my old self.

I'm sure some of you may be wondering how I am managing my new life as a mother and my new career in fashion. I have been giving this a lot of thought as to how I wanted this to progress in the future. It's still in the works, but as of now I was lucky enough to find a wonderful independent designer to work for part-time. I interned for her during my last semester of school while I was pregnant. It was the perfect opportunity for me because her studio was pretty close to my home and she was willing to let me work only one day a week (usually most internships require at least 2 or 3 full days), which was all I could afford with the crazy amount of work at school. Being a mother to a young child herself and raising him while working, she understood everything I was going through, so she even offered me the option of bringing my baby into work when I was ready to work again. She has a kid area with toys for her son and had all the baby things, like a bouncer and activity mat, that I could use. How amazing is that? So, just before Sophie turned 3 months old, I went to work for her part-time. So far things are going well. I am always nervous that Sophie might be fussy and need too much attention during the time I am there that I can't get as much work done, but she is so understanding and nice about the whole situation that I really feel like I lucked out with the perfect situation I need for my life right now.

Sophie is now 5 months old, and she is starting to need more attention than before because she is so alert and attentive to everything that is going on around her now. We'll see how she is now once I go back to work. I had to take a break from work for a trip I took to Chicago to visit family and celebrate Sophie's 100 day birthday (a Korean tradition) and her baptism. We also drove to Indiana to visit my husband's old high school for his 20 year reunion! Wow, it's hard to believe he's been out of high school for that long. The break ended up being a little longer because we had to move and was actually "homeless" for 2 weeks because we were in between leases and had to stay at a relative's place in NJ for a while. After all that, we are finally at our new place and I am super excited to get everything situated so that I can truly enjoy the benefits of our new place. Even with the boxes all over the place, I feel at home already. Finally a place we can see ourselves living in for more than a year!

I hope all of you had a lovely spring season (it seemed that it went straight from winter to summer in NY) and are now enjoying the summer! I will post more frequently so come back often! My dreams and ambitions to pursue my own fashion line have not yet died, so even with a baby, I will figure out a way to make it all work out. :)