I am on a journey to live a life I love and to fill my life with the things that truly bring me joy... my dream job, loving relationships, financial abundance, a healthy mind and body, and a deep spiritual connection with all that is. I am living consciously to create a life filled with all the things I love.

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This blog began after I made the decision to leave my old life behind and start a new life -- a new career direction and a mission to create a life I love. I moved from Chicago to New York after letting go of my old career path, one that was good, but not my true passion, to pursue a far out dream to one day have my own successful business while being a mom at the same time! That was the ultimate dream, but what brought me to New York was fashion design school. More on that later.

For years I was searching for what my ideal business might be. I just knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but it wasn't very clear exactly what I wanted. Some people are blessed with the knowing that they want to be ... a chef! a dancer! a teacher! a doctor! For years during high school and college I thought I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to help people and I loved reading about health and thought the human body was such a miraculous creation. I thought that maybe if I combined my talent for art with medicine, I could become a reconstructive surgeon and go on missionary trips and service people who really needed some reconstructive surgeries in 3rd world countries. I had a 10, 15, and 20 year plan all mapped out.

Somewhere along the way I was snatched up by the technology and internet bug and found I was spending more time trying to design and create a website than on studying (rather, memorizing) organic chemistry molecules. In 1997, my first website was born and I was hooked. I wrote poems, observations, deep thoughts, and shared my inner most self on my website. It was essentially an online journal (or blog), but the term blog didn't exist at the time. Once I left college, I stopped writing on that website and it was automatically taken down since we no longer had access to college server space.

I decided to study technology, so I ended up studying programming, decision modeling, and business. I had no idea what I wanted to do with it, so I decided to become a consultant so that I can work in different companies and industries until I figure it out. After some soul searching, I realized needed to be creative, so I decided to leave my job to pursue a graduate design degree, but what design field? I researched graphic design, industrial design (those were the only two I had really heard of at the time) and decided on industrial design over graphic design so that I can work on creating something 3-dimensional.

I took a whole bunch of art classes, from glass blowing, painting, pottery, to figure sculpture in order to create an art portfolio to show my art background. But, I quickly realized that I had more of a business mind than an artist's mind, so I needed to find a balance between art and business. I went into design school to study product design, but picked up graphic design and design planning skills along the way, and I couldn't give up my business side, so I decided to get the MBA as well. I was sure it would help me become more well-rounded and give me more credibility while working with business folks, and I was taking these 3 years off anyway, so I should make the most of it. But, boy did it come at a cost! I worked myself so hard that after the second year, I caught pneumonia and was hospitalized. Oh, and then they discovered that I was a TB carrier and gave me 6 months of intense antibiotics to take that wiped out my digestive system. That was fun.

Anyway, fast forward and post graduation, believe it or not, I STILL didn't know exactly what I wanted to do! I had been brainstorming with myself and my boyfriend turned fiance turned husband for years of what the ideal career would be for me. I came up with some crazy idea of creating a wellness spa. I think it was because I had always worked in such stressful environments that the thing I craved the most was a serene, peaceful, and healing environment. I thought about doing it, but realized I was no where near ready for that undertaking. What was a techie/designer going to do in the health and wellness industry?

So, I worked as a user experience/interaction designer at various companies until I could figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Still no clear answer. I wound up in a consulting company again working 16 hour days, traveling cross country weekly, working on the plane, working while waiting for the plane, working in the cab, working on weekends... pretty much every waking moment... it was nuts. I eventually realized I brought it on myself. I was a workaholic. I tried to change my lifestyle, but with no success. Pretty soon, I was wiped out and knew that I either had to quit or I would get seriously ill. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Why was I in this job in the first place? And the answer was simple. It was just for money. I couldn't let money run my life anymore, nor ego or pride. My health and well-being were more important, and my happiness and sanity too!

As soon as I quit, I caught pneumonia again. Second time. I decided then that I wasn't going to let this happen a third time. Something HAD to change. After taking a month off to recover, I wound up doing independent consulting thinking I could do the same work minus the travel and better hours. There was no travel, but the hours were still intense and the stress was extreme! No more. I then found a job at a company who had a much better work/life balance. I managed to fix the work/life balance issue, but realized I still didn't find my passion.

After a year of testing different career options and going on a spiritual journey, my family traveled down to Brazil for the holidays to see a healer named John of God. I didn't have any health questions to ask him about, so I asked him what my ideal career would be. I received an answer later that day by someone who told me to go into fashion design and to go to Parsons. What?! Seriously, this was not a career I ever considered, nor even knew was an actual career path outside of the movies and TV. The only reason I now knew it was a career path was because of Project Runway. It was something I had never considered and actually shied away from because I thought the field was so superficial. Hmmm... but I decided to look into it because maybe there was a bigger purpose in this path than I realized.

I almost didn't submit my application to Parsons. It was the day that it was due and almost 5pm, and I almost didn't press submit because I thought it was ridiculous to be trying to apply to a school in New York when I lived in Chicago and was bound by property that my husband and I had recently bought so that we can have kids there. And my husband was perfectly happy at his job. Ultimately I finally decided that I'd rather have no regrets, and at least I submitted the application regardless of whether I went or not. And the rest is history... hahaha... well, the story is still unfolding. I went to Parsons to study fashion design, lived a crazy lifestyle there burning the midnight oil and pulling more all-nighters than ever before...

...which led me to Integrative Nutrition. Somehow this school found me, called to me, and got me to enroll into their program (in the midst of fashion school chaos). It gave me my health back so that I could be healthy enough to get pregnant and have a baby. So here I am, many steps closer to my ultimate dream job, which is still getting clearer to me step by step. I am now a fashion designer, holistic health coach, and a mom. Building a career while being a mom is one of the most difficult things I have ever encountered, especially if you are trying to stay home and take care of your baby as much as possible, but this is all part of my journey. I am designing a life I love. One that is healthy--mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially--and full of all the things that bring me joy.

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